HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!
I actually can’t believe it’s 2018, where did 2017 go?! Anyway, this post is going to talk about my New Years Resolutions, my goals and aspirations for the year, and the inspiration behind them.
I think the main goal for me in terms of health, is to learn to accept my body for what it is. It’s not the healthiest, both with chronic illness and weight, but I need to learn to appreciate what my body can do and learn to love my body the way it is.
I would say my biggest insecurity is my weight. Every time I look in the mirror I feel so sad and defeated. I rarely feel happy about my body and the way I look, and I constantly feel ashamed and self-conscious. I know I let it get the better of me but this year I really want that to change. I believe that if I want to make any sort of progress with weight loss, I need to love my body the way it is now first. I would always try and avoid full length photos, but I’m going to start asking people to take them of me, so I can embrace and celebrate my curves. So that, for me, is my main goal for 2018.
Listen to my body
I have a chronic illness, this is something that should be ENGRAINED in me, yet, I still manage to ignore all the warning signs and end up having a flare up!! This year I really want to learn about every aspect of my body so I can spot the tiny little warning signs and STOP and REST!
I also want to focus more on holistic health. Last year I was prescribed pain-killers and I found that they didn’t work any better than my homeopathic medicine, so why would I put those chemicals in my body when I could use natural remedies instead? One thing I started doing is Bowen Therapy, which I mentioned in my previous post, and I hope to go into more detail about it in another post, but it has really been helping to relieve my symptoms natural!
A great example is when I came off the pill in November 2016, and then went about 5 months without a period. I had all the relevant tests done, and I’d already had an ultrasound scan for PCOS the previous summer (that came back clear) and eventually, it was a HOMEOPATHIC medicine that brought my period back!! It’s still very irregular (every 6-7 weeks) but at least I have one!
I really believe in holistic healing, it’s how I’ve been brought up, and this year I really want to prove to myself even more that I can manage my illness with holistic and natural remedies.
I also want to learn about what foods are good and bad for me, and I’m not talking about “junk” food, I’m talking about if there’s anything I’m intolerant to, or anything that I particularly thrive off. Going back to holistic health, I want to learn how to use food as a medicine. Food is fuel for the body and I think it is important to eat foods that have nutritional benefits for you, that will help you to look after your body.
I also want intuitive eating to become my way of maintaining healthy eating, and not an app on my phone. I spent so much of the past 2 years tracking every single bit of food/drink I had and I just became miserable with it. So gone is MyFitnessPal, and instead I am using my knowledge about food, and I’m listening to my body to help me make informed decisions about what I’m eating, and learn what is good and bad for me.
This is a difficult one, as I would love to say I’m going to go for a walk every day and I’m going to go to the gym 5 times a week, but that’s not realistic. Instead, I am just going to try and become more active in general. I am not going to pressure myself or feel guilty if I don’t manage to do any exercise one week. Pacing myself with my ME/CFS is more important that pushing myself to do a workout. I need to find a happy balance where I can benefit from the exercise, but not overdo it and end up relapsing. I want to ENJOY my workouts, and even if that’s just a short walk then I’m going to celebrate that and feel proud that I managed it. I am going to listen to my body, and recognise if it needs rest, or needs a good sweaty workout.
Much like the fitness resolution, I am going to stop putting so much pressure on myself!! I started 2017 wrapped up in stats and followers, and somehow lost the joy in just writing for me. Towards the end of the year, I rekindled that love for my blog and sharing my story, and stopped caring about the stats and followers! I’ve enjoyed the experience a lot more since I stopped worrying about it, and just posted as and when I wanted to, so that is what I am going to continue to do in 2018.
However, I do want to be more raw and honest with my online presence. I want to show more behind-the-scenes things, on either Snapchat or Instagram stories. Little snippets of my life, when I’m well and ill. I want people to see the real me, not just the me who manages to go the gym and go out for a nice meal. I want people to see when I am truly ill, when I’m bedbound and utterly fatigued. Again though, I am not going to pressure myself to do this – I will only when I want to.
Learn to say NO
This is sooo important for me to do, especially with ME/CFS!! I find it so difficult to say no to someone, I feel like I’m letting them down and feel instant guilt if I do say no! But for my own sanity and wellbeing, and I need to. Or at least learn how to say ‘not right now’ or ‘how about another time?’! I need to put myself first more often, and look after myself, because that’s how I’m going to learn how to pace myself with my illness, and manage the things that are important to me, like University and fitness!
Stop caring what others think
This is definitely something I struggle with but also something I’ve got a lot better at in 2017. It also relates to the previous goal – if I stopped caring about what others think, I might find it easier to say no!!!
I’m hoping that this year, I will continue to get better at not caring so I have more time to focus on myself and the people I love. I need to learn how to stand up for myself more, and get rid of any negativity in my life. I’m naturally a positive, optimistic person, but toxic friendships this year have tested that and I became more negative. This is not ok, and that is why I’m no longer friends with these people. This year I want to focus on the good, positive friendships I have, and forget those that just cause drama and negativity in my life.
So, there we have it, my New Years Resolutions for 2018! My main goal is to be healthy and happy this year, and even though that is going to be difficult, I’m optimistic and believe it will happen for me.
What are your New Years Resolutions?