Weight Loss Struggles

It’s time to be honest…

Trying to stay positive all the time is really hard.

And I’m a positive person. But recently, I just feel completely and utterly exhausted, both physically and mentally.

I keep telling myself that it’s because I’ve just started this new job working in a café, while still trying to keep up with my exercise and other things, but I actually think this exhaustion goes a little bit deeper than this.

I’m tired of working so hard, to achieve nothing. Absolutely nothing.

I’m not losing weight. Actually more than that, my body WON’T LET ME lose weight.

I am convinced there is something wrong as it is not normal for someone who puts the amount of work and effort in as I do, to still stick at the EXACT SAME WEIGHT.

I eat healthily, I exercise, and still my weight is the same.

In fact, I’m more likely to put weight on than I am to lose it. When I was doing my exams a few weeks ago, my healthy eating really slipped; I was snacking a lot, I was eating takeaways and I was even drinking (I know, shock!) and naturally I put on some weight. But I thought to myself, ‘you know what, that’s fine, everyone is allowed a slip up, and once I get back on track this weight will disappear.

That was a month ago.

It’s still there. Stuck to me like glue.

The only thing my healthy eating habits and exercise does for me is MAINTAIN my current weight. THAT IS IT. If I happen to put a bit of weight on with a slip up, I can’t seem to even lose that tiny bit again. I can’t even afford to have a slip up now and again. I’m actually scared to because my weight just increases little by little.

The only way I can stay motivated to carry on with this is because I know if I didn’t, I would be absolutely huge (I’m already a size 16). I would just balloon. And at 20 years old, that is not something I even want to think about, never mind experience. That is the one thing that keeps me motivated to push through and carry on.

But what am I supposed to do?

I’ve been doing this for over a year now, and really, not a lot has changed. Ok so I’m fitter and healthier than I was a year ago, but nothing else has changed. I’m still a size 16, I’m still overweight and I’m still unhappy with it.

I’m not losing weight, I eat healthily and I exercise regularly, all while having ME/CFS. I do have a borderline underactive thyroid but I haven’t been diagnosed with that properly and so won’t get treatment for it until I am, which might not happen for years yet.

Do you know how hard and disheartening that is?

People tell me I’m doing well to stay so motivated and positive; they tell me to keep going, that it’ll be worth it in the end. But will it? What if this is the end? Constant dieting and exercising to achieve nothing? Is that really something I want to live with?

But what is the alternative? To balloon and become even bigger and be at an even bigger health risk for myself? No thanks.

Until I find a solution, whether it be a problem with my body, and yet another health issue (I’m really holding out hope that it isn’t) or I find something that finally works, I have to keep on working towards that end goal, and try and keep my motivation going.

Trying to stay positive all the time is really hard.

*If anyone has any tips, advice or thoughts, I would really love to hear them. I’m in desperate need of any ideas to help me through this!*

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6 thoughts on “Weight Loss Struggles

  1. Weight has been a rolercoaster for me too! I try to rather go on the fit of my jeans than a number on a scale. Following Paleo principles in my diet has also helped. Bonus factor about paleo is it helps to control my pain!

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    1. Yes I’ve started doing the same, I fell out with the scales very quickly! I’ve heard a lot of good things about the Paleo diet, I may have to look into it more! Thank you for your comment!

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  2. I am so sorry. The thyroid issue may be part of the problem? It may be worth looking at it more along with your cortisol levels. I have struggled a lot with my own weight issues and it absolutely sucks to be chronically sick AND uncomfortable with how your body looks. Hang in there.

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  3. Hi there, thank you for your lovely comment! I am constantly being tested for thyroid, just battling it out with the Drs at the moment! It’s horrendous having weight problems, I really sympathise with you and anyone else going through similar things. Thanks again! Hope it’s all going well for you xx

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  4. Hi Amy,
    I just wanted to see if you have tried cutting out wheat and sugar?
    Here’s a little about my personal journey with ME and weight: I am very lucky to have always been very slim, I used to be a dancer and until I got sick I was always extremely active and lovely long distance running. I always enjoyed healthy food and have been vegetarian for 10 years, but I also had a really sweet tooth and as I had never really had to watch what I ate I did have a naughty snacking habit and loved a bit of wine after a hard days work! When I got ME and the exercise regime became no longer an option, the sofa and bed were my new best friends, and my lack of energy meant that I was often ordering takeaways or snacking on convenience food, I gradually began to gain weight for the first time in my life. It didn’t really worry me because I was still slim and a healthy weight but I gained 5kg and went up a dress size (this may seem insignificant to people who experience large weight gain or fluctuations but it was a very big difference for me as I had been the same my whole adult life up until this point). Again I wasn’t really worried about the weight at all, I only mention it because that is the issue we are discussing. The really interesting part is what happened next… In March last year I went to see a nutritionist who had cured herself of ME. She told me I should cut out wheat and sugar. I followed her advice immediately and have never looked back! In the first 3 weeks I lost 3kg! And then the other 2kg I had gained fell off me in the following few weeks. My weight then stayed at my normal healthy weight that I was before I got sick, as I said I was extremely fit and healthy and slim before falling ill so if you have additional excess weight I am sure it would continue to drop off. But most importantly, when I cut out the wheat and sugar, I was experiencing much less pain, had more energy and eventually stopped experiencing some of the other symptoms like IBS and sleep problems.
    So, I would highly recommend giving it a try if you haven’t already. I would be very surprised if you don’t see drastic results in more than just weight loss. You can read my blog for some more details on my experience, I may actually copy this comment and elaborate in a new post in case others would find it helpful.
    Much love and wellness to you Amy,
    Tara xx
    https://rumbadetox.wordpress.com/

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    1. Hi Tara,
      Thank you so much for your comment, I really appreciate the time that went into this! I’ve tried cutting gluten before now and didn’t find it made a huge difference but I am currently trying to cut back on sugar as much as I can and it is helping a bit I think!
      Your story sounds really interesting, I’m looking forward to reading your blog! I would definitely be interested in reading more about your diet while recovering from ME/CFS. It’s something that is so important anyway, and even more so when you have a chronic illness!
      I’m really glad you have found something that has helped you and I wish you the best for the future!
      Thanks again for commenting,
      Amy xx

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